Feline Friday: Meet my children, Fiona and Pepe

If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am deeply in love with my cats, Fiona and Pepe.  They are my favorite living things on this or any other planet.  I think they are endlessly fascinating–but I understand that “Guess what my cat did?!” stories are not always appreciated by, well, anyone but the storyteller.

I can’t promise that I won’t talk about my cats, but I can promise that I will try to tone it down.

Here they are:

Fiona

Age: 3

Birthplace: Inglewood, CA

Three words that describe her: beautiful, angry, skinny

Likes: plastic bags, biting, playing with bottle caps, posing for photos, riding in the car, annoying the shit out of me while I’m trying to sleep

Dislikes: Pepe, being ignored, being held, being by herself

If she could talk, she would sound like: Zsa Zsa Gabor throwing a tantrum (see example)

If she could talk, she would say: [in a French accent] “Look at me!  Look at ME!… No, don’t touch me!  Fuck you!  Leave me alone… No, don’t leave me!… Never mind, get away from me.  You are a bastard! I will kill you… No wait, stay!  Please!… No, fuck off!”

How I got Fiona: I told a co-worker that I wanted a cat, and he said that he took in a pregnant stray who rejected her babies and wouldn’t feed them.  That weekend, I picked up Fiona and her brother, who were only 2 weeks old and freakishly skinny.  My adorable man friend Joe, my friend Liz, and I bottlefed them until they were 6 weeks old.  I gave the brother to a friend, but there is no way I could part with my lovely Fiona.

This is a picture of Joe, holding Fiona on the day we got her.  This is probably my favorite picture in existence.

 

Pepe

Age: 2.5

Birthplace: Silver Lake, CA

Three words that describe him: Scared, snuggly, desperate (for love)

Likes: Fiona, hiding from visitors, getting cat massages from me, makin’ biscuits on the fleshiest parts of my body

Dislikes: Strangers, getting picked up, going for car rides, loud noises (or any noises, really)

If he could talk, he would sound like: Hans Moleman (see example)

If he could talk, he would say: “I have a lot of feelings… let’s smoosh our faces together for awhile.  I love you.  Wait, you have a FRIEND COMING OVER?!?!?!?!” [hides for two days]

How I got Pepe: Fiona was clearly starting to get lonely after about a year, so I decided to adopt a brother for her.  I went to Sante D’Or (a great no-kill shelter in Atwater Village), and picked out the most lovable kitten I could find.  And when I brought him home, Fiona was IRATE– I was afraid to leave them alone together because I was thought that she would murder him.  I called the shelter in tears, and they assured me that this was normal.  They said that within a couple of weeks, the cats would be the best of friends– playing, bathing each other, etc.  That became sort of true: now Fiona like to lick Pepe for about 15 seconds before she starts biting his skull.

However, Pepe still loves Fiona, and I think Fiona likes having something around all day, even if she’s just constantly bumping into him and saying, “Oh, it’s YOU. Le sigh.”

So there you have it– pure cat love.  If you think it’s stupid, just get a feline and watch your heart melt.  Seriously.

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    yosoyblog said,

    Oh my god I forget about those bottle feeding days…mixing up the formula and putting it in that teeny bottle, getting the wriggly fiona to take the teat. They grow up so fast!


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